Tips for developing virtual parenting plans

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When considering the use of virtual visitation within the context of parenting plans, many of the same factors that are considered for face-to-face contact should be considered for online contact.

These include:

• Structuring contact so that children are not exposed to parental conflict

• The development of clear parenting plans so that parents do not interfere with the other parent’s contact with the child

• The emphasis on consistent and predictable dates and times for parent-child virtual contact

• Clear expectations about the contact between children and parents.  

Similar to face-to-face parent-child contact, structured and well-thought out access plans appear to be necessary to ensure the success of visitation and well-being of all involved.

Additional factors should be considered however when using online technologies. These include:

• The children’s age and maturity: Not all children use technology the same and these differences will depend on the age and stages of development of each child. For example, younger children may need more assistance with the technologies compared to older children.

• Financial considerations: Parenting plans should detail who is responsible for purchasing and updating the technologies to facilitate virtual visitation

• Scheduling virtual visitation: Virtual visitation should not be disruptive to children’s schedule. Similar to face-to-face contact, schedules for virtual visitation should consider the child’s time with both parents, the children’s involvement in extracurricular activities and other obligations (e.g. work, school, volunteer and social). It is important to outline a well-defined schedule of how the visitation will transpire including specific dates, times, and length of contact.

• The types of activities: Parenting plans should detail the types of activities that may or may not be permitted during virtual visitation

• The type of technologies used to facilitate online contact: It is important for parenting plans to clearly articulate the types of technologies that may or may not be used to communicate such as emails, texting, videochat, a shared website for shared pictures and information.

• The location of contact: Parenting plans should detail where the computer and/or other technologies should be located in both homes. For example, decisions should be made regarding whether the computer in the child’s home will be placed in his/her bedroom or in a public space within the residential home. 

• The people present during virtual visitation and their roles: All parties allowed to be present during virtual visitation should be made part of the parenting plan so that the roles and responsibilities of all parties are understood and clearly articulated.

• The level of monitoring and supervision required: If monitoring of the child while using the online technologies is required, this should be clearly indicated in the parenting plan so that all parties are aware of the expectations of monitoring and any limits regarding the level of supervision required.

• Issues of privacy: The issue of privacy should be detailed as it relates to a child or teen’s virtual access with a parent (both synchronous and asynchronous), without input or interference by the custodial parent. 

• The behaviors of the custodial and/or non-custodial parent: Specific guidelines to minimize negative and disruptive behaviors of the parents should be detailed, including not using children be conduits of information from one parent to another.

• Expectations for non-compliance: There needs to be a clear understanding by all parties regarding the enforcement mechanisms for non-compliance regarding virtual visitation. These can include stipulations for failing to follow through with scheduled visitation and/or interfering with scheduled visitation.